SPRINGDALE, AR—Democrats have proposed a new Covid relief stimulus for families of up to $3000 per child. Should this legislation pass, it would instantly make Jim Bob Duggar the wealthiest man on the planet.
“Honey, grab all 65 million of our kids and come look at this! We’re rich now!” said Jim Bob Duggar. “Who would’ve thought we’d make more money than Elon Musk by doing what we love most— having children!”
When asked for comment Michelle Duggar said, “Well it hasn’t always been easy having a full-time job of birthing children, but in the end, it was all worth it. I thought of it as a heavenly investment, to be honest, but it's nice that it pays off ”
“Yeah, we really didn’t think this legislation through when we rammed it through,” said Rep. Richard Neal (D-MA). “Oh well! Time to print more money I guess.”
Jim Bob Duggar has said he's thinking about investing in Dogecoin or GameStop stocks with his newfound riches, "or perhaps expanding the house so we can fit a few more kids in here."