WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a recent town hall event, Senator Kamala Harris demonstrated her brave defiance of the patriarchy. In front of a live audience, she ate an entire handful of silica gel packets, completely ignoring the condescending "Do Not Eat" warning printed on the side.
"This is what women have to deal with every day," Kamala said to her captive audience, which was literally captive because she had captured them. "We buy a pretty pair of heels on Amazon and when we open the package, we are assaulted by patriarchal mansplaining from these silica gel packets in the box. Who says we can't eat them? Did a man write this?"
Kamala Harris began popping them in her mouth one at a time and swallowing them. "What are these even made of?" she said. "They're not bad! They taste like male tears and female empowerment!"
The audience stood and cheered wildly, obviously touched by this powerful statement.
Media crews are currently monitoring Senator Harris to make sure they record what happens next since everyone wonders what happens when you eat those things.