U.S.—As election day in America draws nearer, the Libertarian Party is reminding Americans that they don't have to choose the lesser of two evils in a corrupt two-party system. This year, thanks to Libertarian candidate Dr. Jo Jorgensen, they can now choose the least of three evils!
"This is a game-changer for this country," said Dr. Jorgensen as she received a rabies shot due to her recent bat bite. "Americans have too long been forced into an impossible choice between two parties who are not serving or representing the people. We are proud to be adding a third choice to that mix, allowing citizens to pick between three flavors of evil rather than just two!"
Voters have expressed interest in Dr. Jorgensen's position that private citizens should be allowed to own an M1 Abrams tank, but some are balking at her pro-abortion stance, which many see as a deal-breaker. Others are worried they'll never hear the end of it from Biden and Trump supporters if they "throw away their vote" on a third-party candidate. Jorgensen is working hard to convince skeptical voters that when it comes to evil, she definitely comes in a distant third behind Biden and Trump.
"Vote for the less-est evil you can!" Dr. Jorgensen said in a recent speech. "Vote Libertarian!" But then, Libertarians got into a shouting match with each other over whether it should be "lesser" or "least" and decided they would all just not vote and not change anything again this year.
Many conservatives have reportedly taken the Libertarian Party's message to heart, choosing to vote for the least of three evils: Trump.