Finance Sponsored
Local Couple Sticks To Household Budget For Full Twelve Minutes

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—According to reports coming out of Colorado, the Grant couple stuck to their carefully planned-out budget, designed to help them wisely spend their biweekly paychecks, for a full twelve minutes.

“We got paid at midnight and managed to hold off on all irresponsible purchases and excessive spending, right up until 12:12 a.m.,” Stephanie Grant told reporters. “I thought we had actually made it until 12:18, when I nabbed a few albums off iTunes that I’d been wanting, but it turns out Barry had already raided Amazon six minutes prior.”

The Grants’ Amazon order history confirmed that exactly twelve minutes after midnight, Barry fired off a large Amazon order for over $700 worth of electronics, books, and household goods, all charged to their Amazon credit card. “That Amazon ‘buy now with 1 click’ button . . . it called out to me,” he said.

“12 minutes is still a record for us, sure, but I’m not happy he did it,” an irate Stephanie stated. “I was totally set on at least 15 minutes of monetary responsibility.”

“Whatever—some of it’s for you, plus we get 2% rewards back, so the math all balances out,” Barry reportedly shot back as he checked his Amazon tracking information to see when their completely unnecessary purchase would arrive.

At publishing time, the reconciled Grants had made a solemn vow to “really push” to sticking to their biweekly budget for “at least 20 minutes” next time around.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.