Christian Living Local
Local Man Confident 17th Missionary Dating Attempt Will Yield A Convert

BOISE, ID—Local account manager and “missionary dating” veteran Harrison Clark, 32, reported that he is confident that his next attempt to “date a hot chick right into the Kingdom” will ultimately be fruitful and yield a convert, after 16 consecutive failed attempts.

While most people would be discouraged or might seek a different method of sharing their faith after such a lack of success, Clark is not swayed, confirming to sources that he will “stay the course” and “date as many attractive women with relaxed sexual morals as possible” until he is successful at convincing one to give her life to Christ.

“I’m sure this is the one that’s going to work—this next one, I can feel it,” he told sources Thursday morning over coffee as he flipped through his Tinder app. “Sure, I’m batting .000 right now, but I’ve had some experiences with these ladies that I’ll never—ever—forget. So I’ll always have that. And plus, this next one, I’m telling you, this next one is going to ask me why I’m different than all the other guys she’s dated, and then I’m going to tell her all about Jesus . . .”

“Oh man, look at her,” he added, stopping on a picture of a young lady on his phone. “Hoo boy.”

Breaking: PayPal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.