Church Local
Local Pastor Still Calling Every Guy Whose Name He Forgets 'Brother'

COLLEGE PARK, TN—Like most public figures, Pastor Dallas McKenzie of Faithful Hope Community Church in College Park, Tennessee has a hard time remembering names. In fact, many have begun to wonder if the pastor knows anybody’s names at all, reports confirmed Wednesday.

“I literally have prayed with him weekly for 22 years,” said old friend Martin Scudder. “Still calls me ‘brother.’”

“I’m his biological son. He calls me ‘brother’ too,” said Ezra McKenzie, who is, in fact, Dallas McKenzie’s child.

Even his wife, Velma McKenzie weighed in. “He calls our dog ‘brother,’ his morning coffee, even the toilet. He calls everything ‘brother,’” she told reporters. “Even females.”

The church elders thought this “brother” thing was just a peculiar habit until one day when the pastor referred to a Seventh Day Adventist as “brother.” “That’s when we realized he might be losing it,” said Barney Roth, church board elder.

Pastor McKenzie is due for a psychiatric evaluation next week, according to sources.

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