Family
Man Assures Family He'll Have Christmas Lights Up In Time For Saint Patrick's Day

FONTANA, CA—After his wife and kids reminded him nearly every day for the past week that it was time to put up the Christmas lights, local father Kyle Jackson reluctantly agreed, and committed to have them up in time for St. Patrick's Day, sources at the Jackson household confirmed Friday.

The man assured his family that he'd set aside a few hours to get out the lights, untangle them, and painstakingly put them all over the house, "well before the summer."

"There's no need to nag and pester me: I'll have them up a just a few months after the New Year, no sweat," he said as he settled onto the couch to watch some Netflix. "I go at my own pace, which means I will have it done well after the time for having Christmas lights up on our house has passed."

"You don't want to get them up too early," he said, "like in December or January. Then you just look too eager."

At publishing time, he had agreed to have them taken down in time for Halloween.

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