YUMA, AZ—Reports confirm that local man Oscar Franklin is constantly browsing Facebook and commenting “amen” on every single post that comes across his screen, just to make sure he doesn’t miss any blessings or offend any watching deities.
When his brother posted a picture of his son’s soccer game last Tuesday, the devout man was at the ready, seeing the post the moment it was uploaded, and typing a hearty “AMEN” followed by an emoji depicting a set of praying hands.
Sources also confirmed that Franklin “liked” his own comment, again—just to be safe.
“You just can’t be too careful,” he told reporters as he refreshed Facebook again on his phone. “See? There’s a picture of my sister-in-law eating a kale salad. That’s definitely worth an ‘amen.'”
“There’s no telling what blessings you’ll miss out on if you fail to type the magic word, even one time,” he added.
At publishing time, Franklin’s wife was asking why he commented “AMEN!!!” on a female coworker’s beach pictures.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.