BACKWATERTON, AR—Local man Rayford Williams has been in a coma for the past month, so he was excited to get back to his church family. Unfortunately, he was totally unaware of the COVID-19 outbreak, which has caused most churches to move their services online.
"Oh man," he said as he walked into the empty church building on Sunday, assuming he had missed the Rapture. "I knew I should have paid more attention to that Kirk Cameron movie."
Luckily, the church had prepared for such an occasion with a pamphlet titled "So You've Been Left Behind" available in the lobby. Williams read through the material and searched his heart, wondering when he had fallen away from his faith. "It was probably that time I played Dungeons & Dragons with my kids. I ran the race for years only to disqualify myself at the end."
"There's no time to change my mind - the Son has come and I've been left behind."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.