U.S.—According to media experts, there must be something really bad happening on the Left, as CNN's homepage is completely filled with articles about Trump and how awful he is.
"I can only imagine what kind of depraved scandals must be plaguing the Democrat party today, for them to be talking about Trump this much," said political analyst Forrest McSquat. "Did Biden sniff a child again? Did Fauci admit COVID was on purpose? Did Kamala Harris punt an immigrant on live TV? I shudder to think about all the horrific possibilities."
While the Democrat party works internally with the media to address several scandals, CNN will be reminding the world just how bad Donald Trump was for American democracy. According to an anonymous whistleblower, CNN has created a stockpile of 873,000 negative stories about Trump, which should tide them over for the next several decades of Democrat scandals.
"As the American people begin to reminisce about the time they could afford gas and have jobs and go to restaurants, we need to keep reminding them that the Trump years were actually terrible," said CNN President Jeff Zucker.
Suspicion that the Democrats were up to something awful was further confirmed when analysts discovered the Fox News homepage was entirely filled with videos of Tucker Carlson.