EDISON, NJ—Approximately four seconds after browsing the comment section on a comedic YouTube parody video featuring political pundit Alex Jones achieving Super Saiyan form during a rant about Barack Obama, local man Matthew Medford immediately converted to a belief in original sin and total depravity, sources claim.
Medford previously believed that all people were basically good but sometimes lost their way, but reported that a mere glance into the cosmic horrors of YouTube comments cured him of his faulty understanding of the human condition.
“After several moments taking in the comments about the Jews taking over the upper echelons of the Jack-in-the-Box corporate offices and the lizard people invading Canada, I realized the error of my ways,” Medford said in an interview Monday.
The man cited the apparent total inability of YouTube commenters to hold a rational conversation without breaking into hysteric rants within three or four comments and the totally unrelated jokes, puns, and insults that permeate the platform as key factors in his decision to affirm the doctrine of original sin at long last.
At publishing time, Medford had interacted with the community on a Twitch stream of popular video game Fortnite and immediately became a seven-point Calvinist.
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