JACKSON, MS—Local Christian man John Anthony went to his polling place during his lunch break and voted for politicians and policies that he believes will cause the government to take care of his fellow man the best, absolving himself of his responsibility to love his neighbors until the next major election.
Anthony always makes sure to fulfill his civic duty to vote that the government take care of his fellow man, so that he doesn't have to.
"I love my neighbors through the government, just like Jesus told us to," he told reporters. "That's why I'm always sure to vote, so that the government can influence and impact my fellow man for good and I can just lounge around and do pretty much nothing."
"I'm off the hook, suckers!" he added.
At publishing time, the man was seen informing a homeless man asking for money that he had already voting for compassionate government policies to help the less fortunate.