DETROIT, MI—Presidential candidate Marianne Williamson reported Tuesday that she was not sure what she was doing up on stage with "all these crazy people" after CNN's first Democratic debate.
Williamson pointed out that between a guy who praised the Soviet Union, a woman who pretended to be Native American to get ahead in life, and a woman who beats her staffers with a wooden spoon, she was clearly the adult during the debate.
"I mean, these guys are really far out there," Williamson said with a concerned look on her face as she smelled a crystal to calm her down. "It was pretty obvious I didn't belong up there. Man, where did the Democrats find such nutcases?"
"I'm starting to worry the crazy might rub off on me," she added. "I need to purge myself of the negative energy we just witnessed up there. Does anyone have a goat, a knife, and some candles?"
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.