Internet Tech Worldviews Mark Zuckerberg
Mark Zuckerberg Finishes Another Long Day Of Deciding What People Should Believe

MENLO PARK, CA—Giving his arms and legs a nice little stretch while reclining in his office chair Tuesday afternoon, Mark Zuckerberg, CEO of Facebook, confirmed that he had successfully completed another long day of deciding what people around the world should believe.

“We’ve got over two billion users now, so it’s never been more important to show them only what we want them to see, while throttling to death of all content that we don’t think they should be consuming for whatever reason,” the Facebook chief said. “My days are longer than ever.”

The tech titan, worth $71 billion, went on to describe the weight that comes along with being the arbiter of moral fitness and objective truth, able to make or break nearly any website on the internet by lowering the organic reach of their posts or outright banning them, based upon Facebook’s opinion of the views expressed in their content.

“It’s hard work, dictating which worldviews are acceptable and which are not. But someone has to do it,” he said. “We can’t just let people consume whatever they want.”

At publishing time, Zuckerberg confirmed that he was smothering the reach of this very article.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.