HEAVEN—Millions around the world are converting to the Christian religion after Heaven announced they now have nightly Norm MacDonald stand-up comedy every night forever.
Comedian Norm MacDonald bravely fought cancer for almost ten years but then at the end there he got a little less brave and the cancer got more brave and started to win. However, it turns out that when you die, the cancer dies too, so it was really a draw.
Upon his passing, MacDonald immediately sought out a small comedy club on the streets of gold and began telling a centuries-long version of the moth joke. He is also expected to make jokes about OJ for the rest of eternity and let God know what he thinks of Satan. Namely, that the guy sounds like a real jerk.
Back on Earth, history was made as people actually checked Norm’s Twitter account hoping to see more golf tweets.
Heaven has announced that it will be doing a Norm MacDonald Live reboot and has already announced a huge lineup of guests including John Candy, Mark Twain, Walt Disney, GK Chesterton, and more.
When asked why Norm was taken at age 61, representatives from the afterlife said that they had waited long enough to get the best stand-up comic in existence into one of their local clubs. “You can only watch a guy go that underrated for so long,“ one angel said. “He’s ours now.”