Modern-Day Hanukkah: Roll Of Toilet Paper Miraculously Lasts Eight Days

NEW YORK, NY—In a modern miracle reminiscent of Hannukah, the Engelberg family announced that a roll of toilet paper in their household lasted for a full eight days.

During a trip to the household "throne room," family patriarch Benjamin Engelberg began looking for the customary rolls of toilet paper they traditionally use. "Oy vey -- only one roll left!" he declared. Gathering the family together, Engelberg prayed to G-d that they would find more toilet paper. But then, something incredible happened. After each trip to the bathroom, the Engelberg family found that there was always just enough toilet paper to use.

"It's a miracle! Thank HaShem!" Engelberg cried in delight. 

Finally, during a trip to Target, Mrs. Sarah Engelberg found a package of Charmin, and the family was saved. To remember this incredible miracle, Jews everywhere will be celebrating this week each year going forward, with the giving of gifts, the spinning of dreidels, and the daily unrolling of the eight rolls of toilet paper.

Babylon Bee subscriber Levi Hambrick contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!
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