BERKELEY, CA—Local college student Zax Lindell is being heralded as "the next Martin Luther King, Jr." after he announced that he has a dream that one day everyone will be judged by the color of their skin.
The liberal student activist announced that he wants all people to be able to come together and judge each other solely by skin color, utilizing the complicated matrices and point system of intersectionality.
"It's a radical idea, but one I hope our nation can soon realize," Lindell said. "One day, everyone in this nation will simply look at a white person and know immediately they're part of the problem. They can also look at a minority and realize that person is righteous because they are oppressed by systems of whiteness."
"I have a dream that one day we will live in a nation where we will not be judged by the content of our character, but whether we're evil white men or innocent, oppressed minorities," he said as a crowd of his classmates began to gather and cheer him on. "I have a dream that one day every oppressed minority status will be exalted, every white person will be made low, and every straight person will be made gay, and the glory of Marxist systems of social justice shall be revealed, and we shall all see it together!"
"Except for white people, of course!" he shouted over the thunderous applause of the crowd.