WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Motion Picture Association of America has called on all filmmakers to place a mandatory Chris Pratt warning in front of all films featuring the actor.
The warning will alert liberal viewers that they may be exposed to the acting performance of a man they might disagree with on at least a few issues, allowing them the opportunity to leave the theatre and go watch one of the hundreds of movies featuring only far-left actors.
"It's important to preserve our liberal bubble," said MPAA representative Zendo Majores. "Can you imagine if someone sat down to watch the sixth or seventh Jurassic Park reboot only to find xerself confronted with an actor whose views they might find disagreeable? It would wreck the moviegoing experience altogether."
All films featuring Pratt will be rated "T" for triggering, regardless of their content. "This is the most restrictive rating we can give a film," Majores stated. "It indicates to the viewer that the personal, political, or religious views of a performer are far more important than enjoying the art of people you don't like."
At publishing time, conservatives were still expected to pay billions of dollars to watch films starring actors who despise them.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.