NEW YORK, NY—After Lawrence O'Donnell admitted to publishing a sensational, world-altering, but also totally fake story about Trump's finances and Russia, MSNBC confessed that it simply makes up all its reports about Trump using the patented Mad Libs system of making up random words and sticking them in blanks in pre-written sentences.
The station's reporters sit around a conference table with a big Mad Libs story displayed on a large sheet of paper or whiteboard. Then they all take turns shouting out funny verbs, adjectives, people, places, and adverbs in order to make up a story about Donald Trump to air.
"TRUMP went on a picnic with RUSSIA and NUKED a HURRICANE with his big HAIR," one MSNBC exec read off the board after a brainstorming session with other execs, writers, and editors. "Perfect. Get copy on my desk by noon!"
Using this system, MSNBC was able to produce a fake letter Trump sent to Putin while on summer vacation:
I am having a(n) TREASONOUS time at camp. The counselour is INSANE and the food is SINISTER. I met MIKE PENCE and we became ORANGE friends. Unfortunately, TRUMP is BAD and I TREASONED my COMBOVER so we couldn`t go BETRAYING like everybody else. I need more RUSSIAN BOTS and a HURRICANE sharpener, so please DISASTROUSLY NUKE more when you COLLUDE back.
After this letter was found to be fake, MSNBC said they were "deeply sorry but also not sorry."
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.