U.S.—The nation reported it was relieved Friday as it appeared that politicians were so busy bickering with one another that they didn't have much time to work on their terrible ideas for running the country.
As Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Nancy Pelosi began to fight with one another, the nation breathed a sigh of relief as they were distracted from doing anything.
"Well, that's good," said one man in Michigan. "At least they'll be distracted from ruining my life for a little bit."
Then, Ilhan Omar and President Trump started firing attacks back and forth at one another. Trump said that if half the things people say about Omar are true, she shouldn't be in office. Then she fired back and said if a tenth the things people say about Trump are true, he shouldn't be in office. Then he took the bidding down to 1/100, and she said 1/1000. They are reportedly still bickering over this, and the country's just glad they're not doing their jobs.
"Frankly, if they'd all commit to just be in perpetual gridlock as they fight with one another, I'd be much more likely to vote for them," said a plumber in Idaho. He shrugged. "You go off to D.C. and get in cat fights with one another? Knock yourselves out, as long as you stay out of my business."
Unfortunately, it appears that at some point they'll stop fighting and get back to business. Oh well.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.