U.S.—A report coming out of the laser tag industry in the United States confirmed Friday that the nation's youth groups are the only thing keeping the laser gun combat-focused entertainment venues in business.
"Frankly, if it weren't for youth pastors bringing their kids here week in and week out to shoot lasers at each other, we'd have been out of business in the late '90s," said Bob Mendell, owner of Laser Challenge Xtreme in Newport Beach, California. "The laser tag thing was an extremely short-lived fad, but luckily, youth pastors haven't figured that out yet."
Owners of laser tag venues across the nation confirmed that aside from the occasional child's birthday party, their entire business model relies on youth groups flocking to their locations for weekly activity nights, summer kick-offs, and ostensibly evangelistic outreaches.
"Tidal Wave Youth, Meteor Teenz, and Conflagration Collective all come here at least three times a month---we're really thankful for youth ministries and their religious devotion to laser tag," Mendell added.
The nation's youth groups are reportedly the only thing keeping custom T-shirt industry in business, an additional report confirmed at publishing time.