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Noah Criticized For Deforesting Region To Save Humanity

U.S.—Environmentalists have begun criticizing Noah for cutting down innocent trees in order to save evil humanity.

"Yes, humanity was saved, but at what cost?" asked Professor Carrine von Dame of Harvard. "It would have been better for him to have let everybody drown than to attack poor, defenseless forests like that."

Some scholars believe Noah was in league with evil logging companies such as Tree-B-Gone and the Anti-Forest Legion. "It's clear Noah was backed by powerful billionaires who wanted to fund his attack on Mother Earth."

While Noah was given some credit for at least saving the animals, activists believe he should have saved the animals and then chucked himself and the rest of his family overboard for their crimes against the earth. "Cutting up trees to save animals might be OK," said one protester. "I'll have to check my intersectional chart to see which one is more oppressed."

The prophet Elijah has also been criticized for calling down fire from heaven, releasing harmful CO2 into the air.

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