TAMPA BAY, FL—The NFL opened an investigation Monday which some have dubbed “Deflategate 2.0.”
After reviewing tapes from Super Bowl LV, the NFL confirmed that Super Bowl MVP Tom Brady deflated the tennis balls on his walker in order to give himself an unfair advantage against the Chiefs on Sunday.
“If you look closely at the tape you’ll notice Brady seeming to adjust the tennis balls just before the opening kickoff,” NFL rules analyst Mike Pereira explained on ESPN Monday. “But pause the tape right there. See the blade? He’s clearly deflating the tennis balls on his walker, which should’ve been an automatic ejection.”
The seven referees who officiated Sunday’s big game said they had no idea the superstar had deflated the tennis balls, and all agreed that this may have given the elderly quarterback an unfair advantage.
“The amount of traction Tom was able to pick up by deflating those tennis balls undoubtedly led to his three touchdowns,” head official Carl Cheffers said in an interview. “But boy, isn’t he just the best ever? Maybe we should just let it slide just this once.”
Tom Brady was not available for questions concerning Deflategate 2.0. An aide to the all-star quarterback told us he had bigger things to focus on, like preparing next year’s zucchini garden and renewing his AARP membership.