Church
Pastor Still Referring To 25-Year-Old Worship Songs As 'Contemporary'

PLEASANTON, TX—Sources have confirmed that Pastor Lloyd Hudson of First Baptist Church at Riverview is still referring to songs written over two decades ago as "contemporary."

Any song written sometime in the last few decades is referred to as "contemporary" music by the pastor, who says "if it ain't in the hymnal, it's newfangled music, brother."

"Let us all stand as we join together in this great contemporary praise chorus, 'I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever!'" the 62-year-old preacher reportedly proclaimed in a recent Sunday service, approximately 45 minutes before calling the congregants gathered to "sing to the Lord a new song," referring to Rich Mullins' 'Awesome God.'"

To conclude the service, Hudson is said to have given a brief benediction, and then asked the worship band to "play us out" with "a hot, fresh tune we'll learn together," before the praise team started in on an upbeat rendition of "Come, Now Is The Time to Worship."

Hudson is allegedly reviewing the church's modernization budget to see if there's room to purchase some new technology to aid the worship experience, such as an overhead projector and some conga drums.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There is 1 comment on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.