U.S.—Peace and harmony have erupted across the nation as more people turned off their computers and mobile devices and went outside to talk to their neighbors in order to avoid the impeachment hearings dumpster fire.
Televisions were switched off, people logged off of Twitter and Facebook and closed out of YouTube just to avoid the charade. They emerged into the sunlight for the first time in many weeks and actually said hello to their neighbors, quickly discovering that despite their differences, they have a lot in common.
"Nobody expected the impeachment hearings to bring us together like this, but here we are," said one man as he chatted with his neighbor over the backyard fence. "If I have to see Nadler, Schiff, or any other congressperson's face for one more second, I'm gonna explode. Hey, look, a butterfly!"
"Frankly, these impeachment hearings have done more for our country than even Baby Yoda," he added.
Cats and dogs were seen playing together in the streets, birds and snakes were playing checkers, and Democrats and Republicans were holding hands skipping down the sidewalks.