Dangerous Anti-Science Conspiracy Theorists To Continue Wearing Masks Outside
Health

U.S.—The pandemic has come with big changes for everyone, and in some, it’s caused downright insane behavior. Perhaps the most insane are those who were eager to get the vaccine and yet insist on wearing a mask like they have no idea what a vaccine is. Law enforcement is finally going to do something, as they’ve announced they will now apprehend and lock up these lunatics for the protection of themselves and others.

“We have no idea what is going through these people’s minds,” said FBI spokesman Arnold Briggs. “They were so eager to get injected with something, and yet they insist on masks like they don’t think the vaccination did anything. Some even try to put masks on children. These are crazy, crazy people, and they need to be isolated from society -- but not because of COVID-19, from which they are no longer at risk.”

The FBI is telling everyone not to approach any vaccinated person wearing a mask but to instead call authorities. They will then apprehend the individual and try to reason with the person, explaining what a vaccine is and why people wear masks so that maybe the person will understand why they should take it off. If that doesn’t work, the individual will be locked in an insane asylum, where hopefully a series of electroshocks will jump-start the brain into working again.

Most people are happy about this new policy, but dangerous lunatics oppose it. “Mask! Gotta wear a mask!” said one deranged vaccinated person who was wearing a mask outside. “Maaaaaask!” he yelled as he was carted away.

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