U.S.—A hot new salad is sweeping the nation, but it's actually just a big bowl of croutons.
Americans thought they found a loophole when they heard that salad was healthy and also knew that croutons were sometimes added to salads. They just got a bowl and stuffed it with the delicious, crunchy pieces of bread. The recipe began spreading like wildfire, and soon enough, millions of people across the country were enjoying the tasty crouton salad.
"We were excited when we heard that America was interested in salads again, hoping it would address issues of obesity and heart disease across the country," said one health expert. "But then we learned the salad everyone was eating was actually just a bowl packed with hundreds of croutons, and our enthusiasm went down a bit."
"I mean, yeah, technically it's kind of a salad, I guess, since it's a bowl with bits of stuff in it. But yeah, definitely doesn't count. In fact, you'd be better off just eating bacon or something."
The nation was also disappointed to learn that eating four bowls of cereal every meal isn't really the same thing as a healthy, high-fiber diet.