SPRING, TX—Reverend Chris Gabriel, a Presbyterian minister of over thirty years, resigned in disgrace this week after experiencing a brief moment of emotion during his sermon Sunday morning.
As the reverend preached the gospel out of Romans chapter 8, the congregation was terrified to hear his voice crack as he expounded upon the reality of the salvation that God offers.
“I’m no longer above reproach as Paul requires in 1 Timothy 3, so effective immediately I am resigning from my position,” Gabriel said stoically in a press conference Thursday. “I would like to apologize to my church family and all of those I’ve hurt.”
Representatives for the reverend and his family confirmed that he will be entering a rehabilitation program to help him overcome his wild, emotional mood swings.
“It just goes to show that any of us is liable to fall at any given time,” a church deacon said without any hint of sadness. “The former reverend is in our thoughts and prayers.”
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.