EL PASO, TX—With Biden's border facilities becoming more crowded by the hour, the U.S. is facing a severe shortage of tin foil, since-- according to ICE, immigrants prefer to sleep wrapped up in it. In response, followers of "Q" have generously agreed to donate extra tin foil hats to address the urgent need.
"It's the least I can do," said local QAnon chapter president Dave Smith. "I feel for those poor kids. I just hope they can all escape that border facility before Tom Hanks eats them all."
According to "Q" members, the tin foil will protect migrants from the cold-- as well as cosmic radiation, mind control, vaccine-infected zombies, and Jeffrey Epstein, in case he's still alive.
Officials are warning, however, that if the crisis on the border isn't fixed soon, they'll have to start using Saran Wrap.