PEAKS BAY, WA—A local public library is being called a "cesspool of radical, far-right hate" after it was revealed that the library just has books and no drag queens whatsoever.
"There are no drag queens in sight, not even in the children's section!" said one protester as they started picketing the building Tuesday afternoon, trying to prevent children from going inside and getting brainwashed by information, facts, and logic. "What kind of nation are we living in when a library just has books!?"
Progressive protesters came up with a solution: burning the books to prevent the rise of this dangerous brand of fascism.
"If we burn all the books, then there will be a lot more room for drag queen performances," said Xyle Parson while waving a sign that said, "Love Wins and If You Don't Like It You Can Die in a Fire." "Then, fascism and far-right totalitarianism will finally be defeated."
The library has apologized and will be installing a stripper pole in the kids' area in order to make it right.