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Politics
Republicans Drop Support For War With Iran After Learning Unborn Babies Would Be Killed

U.S.—While Republicans generally support any war in the general direction of the Middle East, they've had a sudden change of heart when it comes to Iran.

A new poll showed that Republican support for an attack on Iran drops to "almost nothing" when they're informed that unborn babies would inevitably be killed from our air strikes.

"Oh man, there are unborn babies who would be killed in a war that's bound to have tons of civilian casualties? We can't have that," one conservative in Texas said. "I was OK with our troops occupying yet another nation in the Middle East, with catastrophic consequences for the civilians there, but I hadn't considered that some unborn lives would be lost. That would be a real tragedy."

Republicans have considered a few ways around this problem. One proposal would have all pregnant Iranians evacuated so the US military would be free to kill anyone else who gets in the way. Another idea is to equip US drones with pregnancy-detecting missiles, who could only kill other innocent life and not the unborn.

A final proposal would just have the US not get involved in another endless war in the Middle East, but this did not get much traction.

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