Republicans Propose Cheaper 'Medicare For Al'

WASHINGTON D.C.—A growing cause for Democrats has been Medicare for All, with the progressive wing of the party constantly demanding it. Republicans, though, finally have their own proposal-- a much cheaper and more streamlined version of the Democrats’ proposal-- which Republicans are calling “Medicare for Al.”

“It’s a one letter difference,” said Senator Ted Cruz of Texas, “but we’re talking about a program that is nearly four hundred million times cheaper.”

While Medicare for All would expand Medicare for all U.S. citizens and cost somewhere between 30 and 40 trillion dollars over 10 years, Medicare for Al would only cover the health care costs of Al Wisniewski of Rochester, New York, and is estimated to cost only $100,000 over the same time period.

“This is a fiscally responsible program,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, “and it will make a big difference in people’s lives. Well, a person’s life. In Al’s life.”

Not everyone supports Medicare for Al, though. The Congressional Budget Office has called the $100,000 over ten years estimate “wildly optimistic,” as that number is based on getting Al to the gym three times a week, which historical data says is unlikely to happen.

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