NORWICH, CT—The prince of darkness’ dastardly plans to spread deceit and chaos in a local family’s life were foiled Friday, as local grandmother of nine Betty Vander Kolk typed “amen” in the comments of a Facebook post instructing her to type the phrase or else risk allowing Satan to gain a foothold in her life, sources close to the woman confirmed.
The woman reportedly executed the desperate plan to shield herself from the forces of darkness while “checking the Facebook” Friday morning to see what her granddaughter was up to.
“Oh dear!” she exclaimed, according to sources. “If I don’t type amen, the devil will be able to run amok in my life? Well, we’ll just see about that, won’t we?”
“Not today, Mr. Devil, no siree!” she added.
As Vander Kolk adjusted her large-frame reading glasses and began to peck in the word “amen” into the comments of the Facebook post, Satan and his minions reportedly cried out in the spiritual realm, feeling their power base weakening with every keystroke.
The second the elderly woman finished her comment, Satan was sucked into a dark portal and banished from the neighborhood, shouting, “I’ll get you, Vander Kolk! You haven’t seen the last of meeeeeeeeeee!” sources from the spiritual realm confirmed.
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