DAYTON, OH—Some local citizens have discovered a cool new life hack to save on postage when voting for a 3rd-party candidate by mail. According to Libertarian voter Dave Stone, the best way to accomplish this is by simply throwing your completed ballot in a nearby garbage can.
Sources say that Dave Stone was really unhappy with both of the two major-party candidates for president. So, to protest the awfulness of both, he refused to vote for either of them and instead filled out his mail-in ballot for Libertarian Party candidate Jo Jorgensen. But being a practical man and not wanting to waste postage or a mail carrier’s time, he then placed the completed ballot straight into his kitchen garbage.
“It felt good to accomplish this extremely pointless act and tell the two major parties I’m not beholden to them,” Stone said. “The idea that we only have a binary choice is what’s holding this country back. It’s also the reason why I’m not going to pretend voting for a third-party candidate actually does anything.”
Stone realized there were also a number of down-ballot races to vote on, but like most people, he doesn’t pay much attention to local politics. Stone spent the rest of the day trying to find an “I Voted” sticker in one of his neighbors' trash cans.