ARLINGTON, VA—Climate scientists at the Environmental Protection Agency announced Friday that the Earth appears have entered a cooling trend. The reason, they say, is the massive shadow cast by entertainer Bill Nye’s enormous ego.
“We noticed the trend about three years ago, but it really accelerated over the past few months,” an EPA representative told reporters. “After controlling for solar activity and weather patterns, we determined that the biggest factor is the exponential growth in Bill Nye’s self-admiration. His expansive, pretentious hubris now casts a shadow large enough to shield most of the Earth from the warming effects of the sun.”
Reached for comment on the set of his Netflix show Bill Nye Saves The World, Nye told reporters, “I always knew I would single-handedly solve global warming.”