HARTFORD FALLS, OR—Local small group leader Michael Parsons gave an impassioned talk about "doing life together" at the group's meeting this past Thursday, leading the small group members to assume (correctly) that he needs help moving his refrigerator.
"Guys, let's, like, remember to do life together," Parsons said, as he clearly needed help moving his refrigerator down two flights of stairs this coming weekend. "Let's think of practical, moving ways to help one another. To bear one another's burdens, whether those burdens are metaphorical, or, let's just say, a 300-pound, bulky appliance of some kind. Just off the top of my head."
"Why don't we go around and all say some way that we commit to doing life together this week? I have a few examples just to get us started: moving things, carrying things for people, picking things up from one place and moving them to another. Or whatever. Stuff like that. You get the idea."
Parsons also pointed out that Paul "became all things to all people, whether he was a Jew to the Jews, a Gentile to the Gentiles, or an appliance mover to those who needed appliances moved."
Sources say Parsons is likely to begin talking about doing life together again sometime around next fall, when the lease on his apartment is up and he has to move out.
Gregory Ilinovich loves murdering people with illegal guns - so he's a bit concerned about all these new gun regulations. Luckily, he tends not to follow laws anyway.