SAN DIEGO, CA—Fact checkers at Snopes proved their value as beacons of all kinds of truth by rating the claim that Biden pooped his pants as “Mostly False” and informing truth seekers it was actually more of one of those wet farts.
Snopes investigators say they obtained Biden's trousers and and knickers and went over them with a magnifying glass, blacklight, and poopprint kit. They say the underwear passed the "sniff test" and that it wasn't poop after all, but just one of those loose, wet farts that slip out sometimes.
“Social Media is rife with unsubstantiated claims that President Biden pooped his pants, when in fact, he did no such thing,” said Snopes editor-in-chief Elroy Shmoob. “We investigated the crap out of this one, because when it comes to the President, rumors like this could be disastrous to his pristine track record. We’ve concluded it was just a shart.”
When pressed by independent fact checkers of fact checkers from The Babylon Bee, about evidence confirming there was little difference between a shart and actually pooping one's pants, Shmoob insisted the difference was vast.
“Trust me,” said Shmoob, “I can continue an 8-hour workday plagiarizing—err—conducting fact checks after a couple sharts, once I get used to the unique feel. But pooping your pants? Not in the same ballpark.”
The Snopes editor then excused himself and waddled back to his office to rate the claim that all suburban moms in the state of Virginia are racists as “Super Double Plus True.”
Chris Smitherson has a problem: he's unvaccinated -- which means he's left out of all activities as he doesn't have COVID like his vaccinated friends. Thoughts and prayers.