WASHINGTON, D.C.—The pandemic has been troublesome for many, but one group is celebrating a victory: socialists.
“Capitalism is all about exploiting workers,” said Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a congressional representative from New York and the world’s smartest socialist. “But now there’s, like, nobody working, so they can’t exploit anyone. Take that, billionaires!”
Over twenty million people in April alone stopped being mistreated by capitalists in the evil capitalist creation called a “job.” Even more are expected to escape this shackle in May.
“I want more billions,” said billionaire Bernard Collins. “But I can’t make more billions without workers. All I have now are my current billions but no more.” He looked very sad, but he was able to wipe his tears with a billion-dollar bill he found in his couch cushion.
As the capitalist engine of having people work grinds to a halt, billionaires should be hit even harder, some of them plummetting from being billionaires to being just multi-millionaires as millions and millions of Americans go unemployed.
“Yay! We’re winning!” Ocasio-Cortez exclaimed. She hoped even more people would leave jobs -- except for the people whose job it is to print money. She emphasized that without them working day and night, we would be in big trouble.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.