Politics
Study Finds Anyone Who Makes A Different Decision To Wear A Mask Than You Is A Brainwashed Sheep

WORLD—Scientists, in a groundbreaking research study, have discovered that anyone who makes a different decision on wearing a mask than you is a sheep. Scientists and statisticians were shocked when they ran the numbers through various statistical analyses to arrive at the startling discovery.

This discovery is the result of the hard work of research teams in 40 countries pooling their resources across the globe to get to the bottom of why people are disagreeing so vehemently with each other on the subject of whether you personally decide to put a covering on your own face.

“The results are clear. Anyone who disagrees with you is a sheep,” wrote Chandra Patel who was lead author of the international meta-analysis of case control studies. "These results are the same no matter where you go, or who you are around."

“We must trust the experts. And the experts are telling us that whatever you believe, the other side are mindless sheep being led like puppets on a string,” he added in his 37-page conclusion filled with charts and explanations of the meta-analysis methodology.

At publishing time, researchers had also discovered that all your opinions are absolute truth.

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