VENTURA, CA—A new study from Barna Group revealed Thursday that the majority of millennial Christians aren't 100% sure what a "Bible" is.
When asked to express their opinion on the Bible, 88% of Christians in their 20s and 30s responded by asking, "What's a Bible?" or simply staring at the survey administrator with a baffled expression before returning to browsing Instagram. Others became triggered and began flopping on the ground like Magikarp.
"We knew biblical literacy was bad, but we didn't know it was this bad," a Barna Group representative told reporters. "I mean, we already knew from a previous study that Christians had no idea what the Bible teaches about evangelism and the gospel, but we thought they at least knew what the Bible was."
When pressed, the vast majority of millennial Christians revealed that they thought the Bible was either the name of a new craft coffee beverage or else a Dave Matthews Band album. Also popular was the idea that the Bible was a long-awaited, upcoming sequel to The Matrix, since a 2nd and 3rd Matrix film haven't been made before.
Those who did know what the Bible was were mostly familiar with it through isolated quotes on Instagram or the movie The Book of Eli, according to the study.