The 7 Most Woke Kids' Shows

Everyone who has kids knows that the most important part of child-rearing is helping your kids become WOKE. Fortunately, there are many kids' shows that have made our job of indoctrination easier! Here are the 7 best woke shows for kids: 

Caillou: Caillou made history as the first androgynous, gender-fluid main character in a children's show. Way to go, kid! 

Reading Rainbow: Reading. Rainbows. The two things conservatives fear most. Plus, it featured the first black man ever to appear on television. Awesome! 

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey Mouse is bisexual. Oh—you didn't know that? That's because Disney is announcing it next year. Congrats to Mickey for his bravery. 

Speed Racer: Chim-Chim and Spritle removed the stigma around smuggling illegals in the trunk of your car.

Blippi: He's secretly a member of Antifa.

Dora the Explorer: We've never watched this show because the voices are so freaking annoying but it seems borderline unwatchable so it's probably woke. Force your kids to watch it! 

Gunsmoke: We think it's a pretty safe bet that every person Marshal Matt Dillon killed in that show was a homophobe. Take that, bigots! 

Well, there you have it! Now, plop your kid down in front of the TV and let these shows do the rest! 


Chris Smitherson has a problem: he's unvaccinated -- which means he's left out of all activities as he doesn't have COVID like his vaccinated friends. Thoughts and prayers.

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