WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a matinee showing of The Grinch Thursday, ushers were repeatedly forced to ask Senator Bernie Sanders to please stop loudly cheering for the Grinch as the infamous antihero went from house to house taking people's property.
According to sources, Sanders stood up and hollered, "Stick it to the one percent, Grinch! Woooooo!!!" as the green CGI creature took an expensive-looking gift from under a suburban Whoville home. He also turned to a child sitting near him and began to lecture the boy on how the richest Whos in Whoville control most of the wealth, and that the Grinch was really doing them a service by ensuring resources were distributed in a more equitable manner.
The boy's mom shushed Sanders and signaled for movie theater personnel to handle the situation. Sanders was given a warning.
Later on in the film, Sanders attempted to get all the kids in the theater to stand up and chant, "Redistribute the wealth! Redistribute the wealth!" but was unsuccessful and only managed to get the ushers called on him a seventh time.
At publishing time, witnesses had also confirmed that Sanders booed loudly when the Grinch agreed to give all the Whos their private property back in the spirit of Christmas.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.