Thousands Of Church Greeters Laid Off

U.S.—Thousands of church greeters across the nation have been laid off as their services are not allowed at this time.

As churches reopened without physical contact or greeting times across the country, church greeters were the first to be let go.

"Listen, Buck, you've got a great handshake -- but we're gonna have to let you go," said Pastor Nick Evans of Lifeline Church in Las Vegas. "And I mean that literally. You've shaken your last hand."

Introverts quietly rejoiced at the indefinite suspension of the church greeter position, though they simply read the news in the privacy of their own homes and didn't talk to anybody about it.

Luckily, all the church greeters were volunteers anyway and so are expected to land on their feet.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

There are 24 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.