Home > Politics > Touching: Trump Visits McCain's Grave Every Day To Yell At It
Politics U.S.
Touching: Trump Visits McCain's Grave Every Day To Yell At It

ANNAPOLIS, MD—Senator and former presidential candidate John McCain is gone but not forgotten. As evidence of this, the White House has revealed that early every morning President Donald Trump makes the trek to McCain’s grave so he can stand there and shout abuse at it.

“So I’m still alive today!” Trump said to McCain’s grave in his last visit. “How about you? Oh. No witty comeback? Ha!” Trump laughed, but then his mood quickly turned darker and he yelled, “You think you’re better than me?!” before kicking the grave and hurting his foot.

“He just hasn’t gotten over McCain’s death,” explained Vice President Michael Pence. “He feels that McCain passed way too early and that there was so much left unsaid between the two of them... mainly in the way of Trump blaming McCain for everything that’s gone wrong.”

So Trump visits McCain’s grave every day, stomping on any flowers people have left on it and yelling about how McCain is “nothing” and that “no one even thinks about him anymore.”

“It’s the most dedicated he has ever been to anyone,” said Trump’s wife, Melania.

Breaking: Paypal Now Available

Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.