WASHINGTON, D.C.—After a dispute with Twitter over fact-checking his tweets, President Trump announced this morning that he would be deleting his Twitter account and moving to Myspace.
The president ordered Myspace to restore its retro layout immediately so he could make a "tight" profile page. He then debuted his new profile, which includes lyrics to his favorite songs, an auto-playing Dashboard Confessional song, and his daily thoughts and musings in a new blog section titled "don's thoughts."
"Twitter is failing badly. Myspace is the greatest social network, maybe ever," Trump said as he unveiled the new profile page, viewable in full below. "I encourage all real Americans to move to the only free speech network still available: Myspace. Hit me up, and I'll add you as a friend."
At publishing time, a heartbroken Trump was refreshing Kim Jong Un's page to see if he had made the top 8 yet.
Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee
After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.