Politics
Trump Instructs Aides To Turn Stock Market Chart Upside Down

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Donald Trump instantly solved the stock market crisis today by instructing aides to turn the stock market charts they were showing him upside down and backward.

Trump seemed grumpy as they showed him how all the stock markets had seemed to crash. But the president -- the most genius president ever -- is an outside-the-box thinker and approached the problem with a unique solution.

"Turn that bad boy over and let's see how it looks," Trump said. "And maybe flip it horizontally too. There. Much better - greatest stock market gains, maybe ever!"

"Problem solved," he added as he left the briefing. "Can't have an economy dip if we just turn that bad boy around."

Trump is also requesting that all time-lapse videos demonstrating the spread of Coronavirus simply be played in reverse to show how it's now being eradicated.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.