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Trump Releases Heartfelt Statement Honoring Fallen McRib

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After much speculation as to whether or not the president would be commenting on the discontinued, limited-time only McDonald’s menu item, an emotional Donald Trump came forward to release a heartfelt statement honoring the McRib sandwich.

Trump typically orders several Big Macs and a shake, but decided to order a McRib Monday morning when he heard the news that the sandwich had been discontinued. A teary-eyed Trump quickly called a press conference in which he called the McRib an “American hero” and thanked the fallen sandwich for its service before its untimely end.

“Word simply can’t express… excuse me,” he said, getting choked up. “Words can’t express the debt of gratitude this nation owes the McRib. No matter what your political party or your beliefs, we can all unite in memorializing this American icon—truly a towering presence on the McDonald’s menu.”

“We shall never see its like again,” he added. Trump did add he has faith he will see the sandwich again, when McDonald’s introduces it

Trump also ordered flags flown at half-mast, a national day of mourning, and an official 5 minutes of silence for the discontinued McRib. “It’s the decent thing to do,” he said.

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