KAMINO—As a discussion started up about civil war in our country, the president himself fanning the flames with a retweet suggesting civil war if he's impeached, Trump revealed that he has been creating a clone army in secret for just such an occasion.
Trump visited the ocean planet of Kamino and oversaw the progress of his clones, which have been growing in secret for decades. The clones are reportedly all made to look like Trump, though they have been genetically engineered to make them tougher and able to run at least a hundred yards without doubling over in pain.
"At last, we have a clone army worthy of the Republic," Trump said in a speech at the cloning facility as clone troopers boarded transports bound for various hot spots flaring up in the war with separatist states. "This is clearly the answer to the impeachment squad and their dangerous droid army."
"Come to me for protection, and together we will make the galaxy great again," he said.
Trump told the press they're currently called clone troopers, though he thinks eventually he'll rename them "stormtroopers." "Has a nice ring to it," he said.
The president will reportedly call a session of Congress to grant himself emergency powers so he can declare the army the official Grand Army of the Republic.
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