SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Planned Parenthood representatives are outraged after Twitter suspended their account for "inciting violence." According to experts, Planned Parenthood is America's premier provider of violence for hire against innocent unborn children, and they have been promoting this activity on Twitter for years.
"Ew-- that sounds pretty violent. I can't believe they let Planned Parenthood incite that stuff online," said local man Buggs Billings after being told how Planned Parenthood is a racial eugenics organization that incites gruesome violence towards thousands of babies every year.
Planned Parenthood contested the suspension, reminding Twitter that what they do isn't actually violence, but "healthcare," because they changed the word. Furthermore, the victims aren't babies, they are "fetuses," which is a weird word that makes the babies seem less human, and therefore they probably aren't.
Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey apologized for the suspension and donated 100 million dollars to help Planned Parenthood build more abortion clinics in minority neighborhoods.