SAN FRANCISCO, CA—In an effort to expand their mission to make transportation increasingly accessible, Uber announced the launch of their new service, UberAir. Following Uber’s gig-based business model, UberAir will focus on making expensive private jets available on a pay-per-use basis to wealthy megachurch pastors.
With several televangelists like Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis gaining media attention for their $60 million luxury jets, many other megachurch pastors have been feeling left in the dust. Uber aims to address this much-neglected customer base by creating a system wherein spiritual giants like Creflo Dollar and Joyce Meyer would be able to rent out their high-end aircraft to the less-fortunate clergy.
This comes as wonderful news to Pete Farley, the head pastor of Richlife Christian Church in Charlottesville, NC, which attracts barely 30,000 weekly attendees. “With my modest $1.2 million net worth, I’ve had to make do with my personal yacht, Lamborghini, 50,000 square foot home, and --ugh-- business class seats on various public airlines. Being able to borrow Benny Hinn’s private jet for a reasonable premium will revolutionize my vacat-- I mean, veracity ...for spreading the gospel!”
Shortly after hearing that Uber would be making luxury jets more accessible to other megachurch pastors, Kenneth Copeland purchased a $200 billion space shuttle that he called “crucial” to his ministry.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.